The Heart Reader

I just finished this book by Terri Blackstock. I'm not 100% sure what to say about it. It's convicting. Very convicting. Makes me take a look at my own life and realize that I am so far from telling people about my savior, Jesus. How he is the only one I need. How he gives peace in the hardest of circumstances. How no matter what you've done, he offers forgiveness and mercy. How he is faithful even when I am not. How he has changed my life over the years, starting with the day I gave my life to him. Yes, it takes courage, which he will give. I don't have to have a script to go by. All I have to do is tell people what he's done. It's so hard, though. What do I have to offer? The woman who was in church from the time she was in her mother's womb? Was in church every time the doors opened? Who really didn't do anything "bad." I have no amazing  story of repentance. I wasn't into drugs, sex, or anything like that before I came to know Christ. I was disrespectful toward my parents, my brother. I watched and read things that I had no business watching and reading. I went to church because that's what we did, not because there was anything (at the time) to be gained from being there. It's entirely possible that I came to know Jesus at the age of 7. I don't know for sure because I can't tell that there was a change in my life at that time. I mean, at 7 how bad can a person be, right? If I didn't come to know Jesus at 7, then I certainly did at 15. All I know for sure is that God showed me my heart that night and it was burning. Felt like a literal burning. I was all jumbly and feeling knotty inside when I prayed that night and still was after I asked Jesus in. But, over the course of the next years, I knew I was different. It wasn't always a good different. I remember that I stopped wearing the Christian t-shirts. Why? Looking back, my guess is that Satan got right to work on me. I mean, I grew up in church and had worn the t-shirts through middle school and up to that point in high school. Now, all of a sudden, I *do* have a relationship with Jesus and I'm ashamed to admit that I was a fake before then, so I quit proclaiming him through my t-shirts. I grew some over the next couple of years and used a couple lines from a Christian song in my valedictorian speech and without shame. I let God lead me to the college I attended. I only applied to 2 of them and was accepted to both. The one I *really* wanted to attend did not offer me any scholarships, so I went to the other one. My roomie at UM told me one night that she thought I was pretty shallow in my faith until she needed prayer for a friend and I prayed with her. I'm not one to very openly display what I believe, but I have gotten bolder as the years have gone by. I felt God calling me to missions. At the time, I believed it to be career missions, but looking back, I think it was a calling to a mission trip. Specifically, the one where I met Clayton. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was going on that mission trip a year and a half beforehand. The day it was announced, I knew. The first penny had not been raised/paid toward it yet I knew. God didn't do anything incredible with me on that trip (at least as far as I know), but he did allow me to meet my husband and know not long after we met that he was the one for me.  Here we are, about to celebrate 13 years of marriage, after a year and a half long distance relationship, with only 6 weeks of that time being in each others' presence. Truly a God-thing. There are so many other things I could write about how I have seen God's hand, especially over the last 2.5 years. From job changes to motorcycle accidents to crazy, unbelievable happenings, he has been in the center of it all. Orchestrating. Not a thing comes to me that God hasn't allowed. How amazing to know that he is sovereign and Satan can't touch me without his permission. Especially when I look back over the last year. I *know* my God has something BIG in store for us. We may not see it this side of heaven, but he loves me and my family way more than I can imagine. Way more.

Wow

I was just going back and reading some posts I made over the past year. I'm amazed at how God has carried us through truly hard, confusing times and how He has spoken to me through different people and how my faith has truly been challenged. I was listening to Greg Laurie's radio program this morning and one statement he made really stood out to me: "Faith that cannot be tested is faith that cannot be trusted." While we're still not through with the big things that have happened over the last year, I can say that I believe we can trust our faith. We have definitely been tested. My faith is in Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior. And I can trust Him.

And in my true blogging form, it's time to mix and match topics. On the subject of running...I planned to get out tonight and run. That didn't happen. (Big surprise there). Tonight ended up being a kid-free night, so Clayton and I went out. I was a little too full still to run. I should be able to fit a run in tomorrow morning after I take him to work and after I get groceries. (His car is in the shop at the moment). Grocery list is already made, so all I have to do is stop somewhere on the way back home and then when I get home put everything away and hit the road. After I run, I'll head to the YMCA for the deep water fitness class I've been taking. I LOVE it! I even want to continue my membership through the winter so I can keep going 3 times a week for it. Now, if I can get my eating back under control, I should be able to get back on the weight loss wagon. I know I gained 4 pounds over the course of 2 months and I'm pretty sure I've put some more on since that last time weighing. After all, I *was* on vacation last week.

Vacation...what a fun week. We drove down to Pensacola, FL on Saturday, June 30. My phone rang just as we were pulling into Newnan, GA for lunch. It was my dad calling to tell me that pork chops were no longer on the menu for supper that night. He and my brother had gone fishing early that morning and caught 13 mullet, so mullet was on the menu. Oh, what a treat. It's been a LONG time since I had fresh-caught-the-same-day-I-ate-it fish and mullet is a must when in Pensacola.

This is a picture my brother (Jason) took of my dad while fishing. 

Sunday was the patriotic service at church. I tear up every year. Every. Year. We also had a cookout in the afternoon. I didn't get any pics of family members who were there.

Monday was the Naval Air Museum. That's another annual event for vacation.

Cousins at the museum.

Monday evening was spent at the beach. It was soooo gorgeous. Jason, Andrew, Kristin, Jacob and I met up with my cousin and her family there. We took pictures and talked. The kids weren't supposed to get wet, but they were soaked by the time we left. 

The "Hot Now" sign was on when we drove past Krispy Kreme, so we stopped for a couple dozen donuts. And coffee. (This was donut stop #1).

Tuesday morning saw Jason, Andrew, and me up at 5 to go back out to the beach to try to get sunrise pictures. We almost missed it.

All of us went back out later in the morning just to enjoy the beauty (and play in the water).

Wednesday was declared a do-nothing day...up until time for the fireworks, that is. However, Clayton and Andrew went back to the museum.

Thursday morning saw us waking before dawn to hit the beach again for the sunrise. This time was 4:30 and it was Jason, Allison, and me that went.

That's about where the pictures end. Of course, I have loads more. Clayton and Andrew went to the USS Alabama during the day and we all went to a baseball game Thursday night. Friday was spent doing pretty much nothing. We were all exhausted, so it was a welcome change. My family of 4 did make it out to the beach one last time Friday night for a seafood supper. We ended up leaving later than planned on Saturday, but made good time coming home. It was great to sleep in our own beds and get back into the regular routine.

Creativity

It seems I've run out of creativity when it comes to blogging. Mind you, there wasn't much there to begin with. I feel as if I've started repeating myself over and over and over and over. See what I mean?

I have a pseudo-update about Clayton's stuff, but I can't talk about it. So, that's a moot point.
Running has all but come to a standstill. (Heh). I'm doing good to get out once a week right now. And I have a half-marathon to train for.
Maybe it's time to do another "I'm thankful for..." post. Yeah, that sounds good, so here goes and in no particular order:

1. Vacations with family
2. Child-free days
3. 13 years of marriage (almost...give me 16 more days and we'll be there)
4. Bible study
5. A desire to be in God's Word everyday - it doesn't always happen and when I miss it, I miss it
6. Keurig coffee maker
7. Coffee
8. Hot Krispy Kreme donuts
9. The beach at sunset
10. The beach at sunrise
11. The beach in general
12. Extended family
13. Air conditioning
14. My Kindle
15. Reading
16. Singing
17. Music
18. Indoor plumbing
19. 2 bathrooms
20. Hot showers
21. Cold showers after a hot run
22. The YMCA
23. Church family
24. Looking back and knowing certain things were God's hands directing me
25. Nutella
26. Photographs
27. Health
28. Friends
29. Working from home
30. Being home with my kids
31. Fruit and veggie basket each week
32. Deep water fitness class
33. Running